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Why LGBTQ Individuals Need an Estate Plan, Even If They’re Married

October blog 1 why lgbtq individuals need an estate plan—even if they're married

Estate planning is not just for the wealthy or elderly it’s essential for everyone, especially members of the LGBTQ community, regardless of marital status. Even with nationwide marriage equality, unique legal and familial challenges make estate planning a critical tool to protect your rights, your loved ones, and your legacy.

In Oklahoma, where probate laws and family dynamics can vary widely, understanding your legal rights and options is key. At Kevin L Miller, PC, we work with LGBTQ individuals and couples in Oklahoma City to build customized estate plans that ensure your wishes are honored no matter what.

Why Estate Planning Still Matters for Married LGBTQ Couples

Marriage provides some legal protections, but not all. Many LGBTQ individuals assume that being married gives their spouse automatic authority over medical decisions, property, or finances. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case in Oklahoma.

Without a legally valid estate plan:

  • Your chosen family may be left out of inheritance decisions.
  • Biological relatives, some of whom may be estranged, could gain control over your estate.
  • Your spouse may face costly and time-consuming probate court proceedings to access jointly held assets.
  • If you have children, guardianship issues could arise, especially if one spouse is not the biological or legally adoptive parent.

Did You Know? Oklahoma’s default intestate succession laws don’t always align with the modern family structure. That’s why legal documentation, like wills, trusts, and powers of attorney is essential for LGBTQ individuals.

The Role of an Executor: Why Choosing the Right Person Matters

One of the most important components of your estate plan is naming an executor (also called a personal representative in Oklahoma). This person will carry out your wishes, manage your estate, and interact with the court system after your death.

Here’s what an executor does, and why you need someone you trust:

1. Gathering and Valuing Assets

The executor locates and inventories all assets such as real estate, bank accounts, vehicles, retirement accounts, and personal property. In Oklahoma, this step must be completed before the probate court can distribute the estate.

  • Assets may need to be appraised to determine their fair market value.
  • If no will exists, assets are distributed according to Oklahoma intestate laws (Oklahoma Statutes §58-213).

2. Paying Debts and Taxes

Before any assets can be passed on to heirs or beneficiaries, the executor must:

  • Notify creditors.
  • Pay valid debts and final expenses.
  • File state and federal taxes, including potential estate tax returns (IRS: Estate Tax).

Failure to follow these steps can delay probate or even result in personal liability for the executor.

3. Distributing the Estate

After debts and taxes are handled, the executor distributes remaining assets per the will, or according to Oklahoma probate law if there is no will.

If beneficiaries include non-biological children, unmarried partners, or nontraditional family members, they may not be legally recognized without clear documentation.

Probate in Oklahoma: What LGBTQ Families Should Know

Probate is the court-supervised process of settling an estate. In Oklahoma:

  • Probate is required for most estates valued over $50,000, unless assets are placed in a trust or otherwise titled to avoid probate.
  • Executors must file documents with the Oklahoma County District Court (Oklahoma State Courts Network) and publish notice to creditors.
  • The process typically takes 6–12 months, but can be much longer if disputes arise or the estate is complex.

For LGBTQ couples or individuals, choosing a trusted executor and documenting your wishes clearly can prevent complications, especially in situations where family members may challenge your decisions.

Key Estate Planning Tools for LGBTQ Oklahomans

To protect your rights and reduce stress on loved ones, consider including the following in your estate plan:

  • Last Will and Testament:   Directs how your assets are distributed and names a guardian for minor children.
  • Revocable Living Trust:   Avoids probate and offers greater privacy.
  • Durable Power of Attorney:  Allows someone you trust to handle financial affairs if you’re incapacitated.
  • Healthcare Power of Attorney:  Ensures your partner or spouse can make medical decisions on your behalf.
  • Advance Directive (Living Will):  States your end-of-life medical preferences.

LGBTQ Families & Guardianship Issues

If you’re raising children in a same-sex or nontraditional household, guardianship planning is essential, especially if only one parent is legally recognized.

Without legal documentation:

  • A surviving partner may have to petition the court for guardianship.
  • Biological family members could attempt to gain custody of your children.

Take the First Step Toward Peace of Mind

Whether you’re single, partnered, or married, estate planning empowers you to make your own decisions before someone else makes them for you. At Kevin L Miller, PC, we’re proud to serve Oklahoma City’s LGBTQ community with compassionate, personalized legal support.

Contact Kevin L Miller, PC at (405) 443-5100 today to start your estate plan or review an existing one. We’ll help you build a plan that reflects your wishes, protects your loved ones, and respects your identity.